Kām (Sanskrit: kāma), meaning desire, longing, concupiscence, sensuality, or lasciviousness, is counted among the five cardinal sins or sinful propensities. In common usage, the term stands for passion for sexual pleasure, and it is in this sense that it is considered an evil in Sikhism. In Brahmanical literature, kām is not always disdained. Kām as Kamadeva is a god in the Hindu pantheon comparable to Eros of Greek mythology and Cupid of the Romans and is, as such, not contradictory to spiritual life.
Kām (gratification of desire) is, in Hinduism, one of the four objectives (purusarthas) of human life, the other three being artha (acquirement of wealth), dharma (discharge of duty), and moksha (final emancipation). Jainism and Buddhism, which arose as protest movements against Brahmanical ritualism and superstition, however, looked upon kām with horror. For munis and sramanas of Jainism and Buddhism and for yogis of the Sankhya school, kām was to be deliberately suppressed to achieve ultimate release. As a result, they preached celibacy and asceticism.
The Gurus rejected Brahmanical superstition as well as self-mortifying austerities. Yet they recognized the four purusarthas, referred to in gurbani as char padaraths or the four human pursuits. However, in Sikhism, kām is not unrestricted gratification of carnal desires but an impulse that needs to be kept under check like other impulses and passions. Unrestrained propensity towards kām, especially sexual relationships outside the marital bond, is condemned in the strongest terms in Sikh codes of conduct as well as in the Scripture. It is a destructive evil and a deadly sin.
To quote Guru Arjan, Nanak V: “O Kām, thou landest people in hell and makest them wander through many births, enticest all minds, swayest all the three worlds, and undoest one’s meditation, austerities, and restraint. The pleasure is ephemeral, and thou afflictest high and low alike” (GG, 1358). Guru Tegh Bahadur, Nanak IX, says: “In the sinning heart reigns kām and the fickle mind breaks out of control. Kām casts its noose even upon yogis, jangams, and sannyasis.
Only those imbued with God’s Name (fall not a prey to it) and are able to go across the ocean of existence” (GG, 1186). Bhai Gurdas describes an ideal Sikh as one who is loyal to his wife and “regards all other women as mothers, sisters, and daughters” (Varan, XXIX. 11). Guru Gobind Singh also said: “Love your own wedded wife ever so more, but do not go to another woman’s bed even in a dream.” Sikh codes of conduct strictly prohibit extramarital relations. While prescribing self-control and restraint and not total annihilation of kām, the Gurus suggested two ways of channeling and sublimating it.
On the one hand, they pronounced grihastha or married life to be the ideal one, and, on the other, laid down love of God and absorption in His Name as the essential principle of spiritual discipline. Says Guru Gobind Singh, “Hear ye all, I proclaim here the truth: only they who love God find Him.” The image of a devotee most common in Sikh Scripture is one of a wife deeply in love with her kanni or husband presently separated from him, and waiting, craving, praying for a reunion with him. Such fervent devotion cannot but bridle the wayward passion in man. According to Guru Arjan, a person who has cultivated the love of the Lord’s feet would desire neither kingship, nor worldly power, nor even mukti or liberation (GG, 534).
References:
- Shabadarth, Guru Granth Sahib, Amritsar, 1954
- Sher Singh, The Philosophy of Sikhism, Lahore, 1944
- Avtar Singh, Ethics of the Sikhs, Patiala, 1970
- Nripinder Singh, The Sikh Moral Tradition, Delhi, 1990
Kām: Navigating Desire in Spiritual Life
Introduction
Desire, known as kām in Sanskrit, is a complex and multifaceted aspect of human experience. In Sikh philosophy, kām is recognized as one of the Five Evils, alongside lobh (greed), krodh (anger), ahankaar (ego), and moh (attachment). While desire is a natural human instinct, Sikhism emphasizes the need for moderation and mindfulness to prevent it from becoming a destructive force that hinders spiritual and moral growth.
Understanding Kām
At its core, kām represents the longing or yearning for gratification, often manifesting as sensual or carnal desires. It is both universal and deeply personal, shaping human relationships and ambitions. In Hindu traditions, kām is viewed more positively as one of the four purusarthas (goals of life) alongside artha (wealth), dharma (duty), and moksha (liberation). However, Sikhism approaches kām with caution, highlighting the dangers of unrestrained indulgence and its impact on one’s spiritual journey.
While kām includes the desire for physical pleasure, it also encompasses broader forms of longing, such as material aspirations or emotional attachments. In its excessive form, kām can lead to moral corruption and spiritual stagnation, distancing individuals from their connection to the Divine.
The Consequences of Unchecked Desire
Unchecked kām often results in a fixation on pleasure and acquisition, leading to exploitation, dishonesty, and strained relationships. The relentless pursuit of gratification fosters attachment (moh), which further entangles the soul in worldly distractions. Guru Arjan Dev Ji warns in the Guru Granth Sahib, “Kām leads people astray, casting them into the cycle of births and deaths. Its pleasure is fleeting and ultimately destructive” (GG, 1358).
Additionally, kām disrupts inner peace and clarity, as the mind becomes restless and preoccupied with fulfillment. It distracts individuals from higher pursuits, such as selfless service (seva) and meditation (naam japna), both essential components of Sikh living.
Sikh Perspective on Desire
Sikhism does not advocate for total renunciation of desires but rather their regulation and sublimation. The Gurus emphasized the importance of maintaining a balanced life, where desires are acknowledged but kept in check. Guru Gobind Singh Ji proclaimed, “A true seeker finds God by cultivating love and devotion”—a sentiment that highlights the transformative potential of channeling desires toward spiritual growth.
Marriage (grihastha) is encouraged as the ideal way to navigate kām. Within the sanctity of marital bonds, physical desires are viewed as natural and purposeful, fostering love, companionship, and continuity of life. However, Sikh codes of conduct strictly prohibit extramarital relationships, emphasizing loyalty and self-control as virtues essential for ethical living.
The Antidote to Kām
The antidote to kām lies in devotion and mindfulness. By immersing oneself in the love of God and embracing His Name (naam), individuals can transcend worldly desires and cultivate inner peace. Guru Nanak Dev Ji describes contentment (santokh) as a powerful tool to overcome kām: “True happiness lies in contentment; those who remain attached to fleeting pleasures suffer endlessly” (GG, 745).
Meditation and selfless service offer practical ways to redirect desire. Through these practices, individuals can focus their energies on spiritual fulfillment rather than material gratification. Guru Gobind Singh Ji’s teachings further encourage seekers to channel their passions into devotion, creating a meaningful connection with the Divine.
Conclusion
Kām, while an inherent aspect of human existence, must be approached with awareness and balance. Sikhism provides a path to navigate desire without succumbing to its excesses, emphasizing love, mindfulness, and devotion. By cultivating restraint and channeling kām into positive pursuits, individuals can achieve spiritual growth and moral harmony. As Guru Arjan Dev Ji reminds us, “Those who embrace love for the Lord transcend desire and find lasting fulfillment” (GG, 534).
